I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
