will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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