His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
