ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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