i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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