I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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