No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
