because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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