i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His nipple licking is glorious
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