Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize