on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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