how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
