dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
