Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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