Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
