Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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