i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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