Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
