you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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