Say something about gay babies.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
