thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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