wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is Oprah even human
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
