she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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