apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
