i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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