I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
