Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
