All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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