i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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