Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
