I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize