He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize