After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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