so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
