I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
