I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
