Just fell off a train. Bad.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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