she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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