very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
