"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
