my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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