so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
