Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
