i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
