Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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