now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
