My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
