Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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