On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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