This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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