He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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