Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize