"it" just moved
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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