i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
