okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
