good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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