***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
