Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
