It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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