I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
