the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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