Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
