The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
